As February winds and bitter cold segway into hints of March weather, a few hours of warmth a day coax the sprouting of daffodils on our farm. Spring is soon on its way and I am itching to plant more seeds.
I learned recently from Caleb Warnock, the Renaissance Gardener on our Monday Night Moms Connect Call, that we can plant seeds in the ground in February as soon as the ground is workable. We don’t have to be so careful about managing all of the cool season planting, 2-4-6 weeks before the last frost, and guessing when that might be.
We just need to get the seeds in the ground and they will grow when the conditions are right for them.
This reminds me of parenting. As a mother of three young men- ages 21, 18, and 15, I am struggling with imparting on them my ideals, hopes and dreams for health, safety, happiness and success before they go out into the world.
Going up against toxic, sugary foods, inappropriate social media, and brainwashing by corporate sponsors on mainstream media and in college and high school, are constant challenges. Perhaps you, Dear Reader, can relate. Perhaps you struggle with having your child make good choices, especially around food, and are seeking guidance.
In my book Unstoppable, I cover how to talk about GMOs to friends and family and I often need to remind myself of my own advice: use the Feel, Felt, Found technique in communication. In conversation with a loved one, when they express disinterest or resist a suggestion you have made, perhaps to eat a certain food or learn information about the food supply you are trying to share with them, first ask for permission to share when they are not hungry, angry or tired, then acknowledge how they feel:
“ I know how you feel...” you would say, genuinely, then,
“ I felt the same way.” Pause and let that land. Then,
“ I felt like this food/habit was a treat before, I felt like I deserved it, especially since it tasted good and sweet/salty etc.”
Then pause and breathe and say, “ But you know what I found?” Pause and hopefully they say, “ What?”
Continue with their full attention, “I found that when I didn’t eat that food/do that habit, (be authentic) I had more money for healthy foods, or I slept better, or my skin cleared up, or I didn’t feel cranky, or I was happier...and after a few days/weeks I didn’t even crave that food/habit anymore!” Then stop, do not inundate them with a dozen facts and figures, wait for them to ask for more information about how you did that or where you got that food etc. Do not overwhelm them with numerous facts. Just like inundating a seed with fertilizer will kill it, giving a person too much information, suggestions, solutions, will kill their curiosity. Just plant the seed when the ground is willing, and let it grow when it is ready.
Let it go, to grow.
Sometimes, our kids will not choose what we wish for them. Sometimes the plants do not grow as fast as we want or they are smaller than we want. The fact is we cannot force any other living thing to do anything and have good results. Life grows in favorable situations. Be favorable. Be open. Be love. That is all we can do or be.
At Moms Across America we seek to educate and empower mothers and others with actions and solutions to create healthy communities. We hope that around the world, our network grows and our friends and families thrive.
We are grateful for you, our supporters who enable us to empower others. May you and your family be healthy, happy and peaceful, accepting your loved one’s growth as they choose to evolve.
With Gratitude,
Zen Honeycutt
Executive Director, Moms Across America
P.S. Moms Across America is thrilled to share that Chipotle, a fast food chain here in the USA has invested in chemical free weed management robotics system Greenfield Robotics! The robots do not replace humans (humans are not hand pulling the weeds) but they do replace toxic chemicals. We hope this system will be adopted around the world - and healthy farming practices will increase!
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